


Promise

by SomeSunnyDay



Series: Tiernan and Vargas [5]
Category: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Genre: Arguing, Death Threats, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Repression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeSunnyDay/pseuds/SomeSunnyDay
Summary: No one can be on equal footing with another person at all times.
Relationships: Jimmy "Mmy"/Edgar Vargas
Series: Tiernan and Vargas [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656697
Kudos: 3





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> I have art of this on Tumblr lol

Jimmy wakes up this morning to Edgar shouting on the phone. He gets up and walks slowly out of the room to where Edgar is leaning against the door frame. 

“What do you mean she’s not taking her medication? She told me she was!” 

Jimmy tried to ask what Edgar was talking about but he gets Edgar’s stern expression and an index finger to the face.

So Jimmy resigns and gets himself bacon from the fridge. He rubs the bullet scar above his clavicle and then sneezes. He fishes out his allergy medication from the back of the kitchen cabinet, takes it dry, and waits for Edgar to finish his call.

He comes in the kitchen and slams the phone in its cradle. Jimmy shrugs, “You want breakfast Eddie?”

He scoffs, “I can’t believe mama’s been lying to me about her medication!” Jimmy nods, to his credit, he is listening, he’s just eating.

Edgar shoves the fridge open as the phone rings again, “Oh fuck off.” Edgar ignores the ringing and gets out the plate of breakfast Jimmy took the bacon off of. The phone continues and Edgar’s eye twitches, Jimmy braces himself and hides a laugh.

Edgar throws the plate to the floor and screams into his hands, apparently he’s been getting calls all morning, at least to be acting this way. Jimmy shoves the rest of the bacon in his mouth so he doesn’t start to bark out laughing.

Edgar picks up the phone and Jimmy watches closely, the mask is getting put back on, fastened tight.

Edgar speaks calmly, “Hello.”

A pause, and he turns to Jimmy, “This is? May I ask who’s calling for him?” Jimmy freezes up, his P.O. doesn’t know, correction,  _ can’t _ know he lives with Edgar. Has to be under watch by his dad for at least 5 hours a day for the next 3 months, check ins and shit. He stole a few things people actually noticed being gone, like a dumbass.

“Oh ok, well I’m his..” Edgar pauses again, his face tenses. Jimmy’s confused? Didn’t they have a conversation about labels and stuff? Edgar said they were dating. Jimmy looks down and listens.

“I’m his roommate.” a pause, “Yes, he lives with me now.” Pause, “Well ok, I’ll make sure to remind him to do the paperwork, thank you.” he hears Edgar set the phone back softly.

“Tiernan.”

Jimmy sits up, “Yeah Eddie?”

“You absolute dunce.” Edgar walks slowly to the table and Jimmy leans back, “Yeah?”

Edgar closes his eyes and clenches his hands, “Don’t.”

Jimmy moves to get up, “The fuck did I do wrong this time?”

“Nothing, James just called, all official sounding and reminded me of your court date.”

Jimmy laughs, “I know- they have to do that Eddie, it’s on the 8th a month from now.”

Edgar sighs and puts his hands up, “Alright fine.”

Jimmy looks down, “Uh but I have a question.”

Edgar picks up the broken plate, “Hm?”

“Why’d you say roommate? Pop knows, and so does the whole station, so James does too, you didn’t have to say roommate.” Jimmy gets a towel and wets it. Edgar puts the plate pieces in the trash and turns around, “I didn’t want to.”

Jimmy wipes up the syrup and sighs, “That hurts, Edgar.” Even though Jimmy doesn't actually hurt, it still makes him a little upset.

Edgar looks over to the phone, “I don’t really know how else to describe my feelings to you. All I know is I’d be sad if you died and that’s all the basis I have.”

Look, Jimmy’s not an idiot. From what he’s gathered through Edgar’s drunken and sober ramblings, he had a shit childhood. Jimmy’s been in his dad’s lecture classes, he listened to what those people were saying. Edgar’s not too well in the emotional department due to shoving things down, which is exactly what he’s doing here.

“I understand that but just try.” Jimmy picked up bits of food, he’s making an effort here because he really does like Edgar, he’s been around enough things to help him to that conclusion. He can’t express how he feels because the emotions aren’t exactly there, but he can describe them and can label them properly when he does have those snippets of feeling.

Edgar stiffens, “Are you deaf? Did you seriously tell me to ‘try’ when I told you I can’t?”

Jimmy nods, he’s gonna get some form of repercussion from this but he doesn’t care right now. Edgar clenches his hands, “I don’t know how to feel about you, all I know is that you care enough to live with me, to which I appreciate but I cannot put a word to how I feel.”

Jimmy sweeps the smalls shards of plate up and purses his lips, “I know you love me, at least from what you fuckin’ told me. I can’t sit here and say that when you don’t even know yourself. You’re shoving shit down again, one, avoiding my initial question, and two, telling me you can’t when I can go write down words and you can fuckin’ pick one from there.”

When Jimmy gets up he hears Edgar laugh, “I’m not avoiding anything, Jimmy. I told you, I care enough to be sad when you die, that should be enough.”

Jimmy frowns here, he turns and sees Edgar smile through the tears running down his face, Edgar puts his hands up, “I’m not avoiding a fucking thing Jimmy.”

Jimmy moves quickly, gets in Edgars face, visibly angry. Edgar flinches and his eyes are wide, Jimmy looks at him, stern and doesn’t back down, “Look here, Edgar  _ Vargas _ ,” Jimmy sticks his finger in Edgar’s chest, his nail digging into the fabric of Edgar's dress shirt.

“I’m try’na help you, you’re fuckin’ avoiding calling me your boyfriend, I can fuckin’ see that. You’re avoiding having to deal with this by laughing, even though I can see the tears you’re having a shit time try’na hide. You’re fucked man, you jus’don’t wanna admit to it ‘cause you're stubborn. Who’s the dunce now, huh Edgar?” Each word that comes out has increasing force, Jimmy's subtle mix of an accent gets clearer and he huffs.

Edgar’s mouth twitches and he closes his eyes tightly, “Get out of this house, so help me before I throw you to the street to laugh as you get  _ hit by a car. _ ”

Jimmy scoffs, “Yeah, right. Y’can’t even fuckin’ deal with  _ this. _ ” He gets a bag and he packs whatever comes to mind. He calls out from the living room when he gets everything he needs, “I’m going to Tess’ house! You get your shit together,” He mocks Edgar’s tone, “Or so help me, I’m not stepping foot in this house again!”

Edgar stands there until he hears Jimmy leave on his bike. He slowly falls to the floor and cries.

After a while he wipes his face and gets up. He picks up the phone and calls Tess, “I don’t want him to know I called but is he there safe?” He sighs in relief when he gets a (slightly angry) yes out of Tess and a dial tone. He cries again for a minute, and dials another number. 

He doesn’t even bother hiding the pain in his voice, “Mama-” he’s cut off by her worried and hurried question, “Nada..” he says quietly, she sighs audibly, “Mijo- no estás diciendo la verdad.”

Edgar sniffs and nods, “I’m sorry mama..”

“What’s the matter Mijo? Tell mama what’s the matter.”

“I don’t understand, I like Jimmy I think? I told him I’d be upset if he died but he said that I was avoiding calling him my boyfriend because I couldn’t tell him how I felt.”

“Did you?”

“Well- I was called about court things he needed to get done, one of those was a change in residence- I told the guy on the phone that Jimmy was my roommate and Jimmy said that hurt his feelings.”

“Mijo, did you discuss your relationship with Jimmy?”

“Yeah, I said it was fine for him to refer to me as his boyfriend.”

He hears her tut him from her end quietly, “Edgar, listen. I know this is hard but he expects the same label when talking about him to other people. It hurt his feelings because he feels as if you’re not secure enough in yourself to address him like that around others. Do you understand?”

He nods, “Thank you mama.”

“You’re welcome Mijo. I need to go now but I’ll call again soon to check in.”

“Ok mama, be safe.” She says she will and Edgar hangs up, he resists the urge to call Tess again and lays down in the room. He lays there for a long while and he can feel himself shutting his feelings out, he can’t help it. He turns on his side and sighs.

Just saying I’m sorry won’t fix this, he knows that. Especially when Jimmy called him by his full name. He never does that. Edgar prays for Jimmy to be safe, he at least deserves someone’s love, if not his poor articulation of what he thinks it should be.

He closes his eyes and drifts off, he’ll fix this.


End file.
